As a parent, when your children are picky eaters, it can be incredibly frustrating. One stepmother experienced this with her two stepchildren – Lilly, 9, and Ben, 6. Both of them are picky eaters so she and her husband (their father) have previously made two separate meals to accommodate them.
But after attempting to get them to eat the same food as them, the children weren’t having it. The kids’ father suggested they go back to making two meals, but his wife put her foot down and said that she won’t be cooking two meals anymore and that he can cook the meal for them if he won’t accept that. As a result, a fight between the couple happened. Both believied the other’s stance is unfair. So she took her dilemma to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” subreddit to see what other people thought.
She wrote:
“My husband and I have been together for five years and married for one. He has two children – Lilly (9f) and Ben (6m) from a previous relationship. They usually stay with us for two or three weekends a month. We have no kids of our own (yet!).
I do most of the cooking because I enjoy it and I also work from home. That isn’t normally an issue because I do genuinely enjoy cooking.
Recently we’ve been having issues with food when my husband’s kids stay with us.
I think it’s safe to say they’re fussy eaters. When I ask them what type of food they like they say “I don’t know.” Lilly takes at least three years to finish a plate of food, or say she’s not hungry, doesn’t want the rest of her lunch, and then immediately ask for a packet of crisps. I always tell her no, you can’t have crisps because you’re not hungry! Ben has had meltdowns over the cheese in his ham and cheese sandwich (he asked for ham and cheese goddamnit!). Now I just make him a ham sandwich, which is fine.
My husband (and I for that matter) are really into our health and fitness. This means that we don’t tend to eat the same foods as his kids (like nuggets and chips). I end up having to cook two lunches and two dinners.
Before he went to get the kids yesterday morning, I said to my husband “I want to try and get the kids to eat the same foods as us. Do you think they’d like that?” He said that we might as well try. So I made chicken and salad wraps for lunch. I honestly thought this wouldn’t be a problem. It’s pretty standard food right?? I was wrong. They both sat there and picked at their food. My husband ended up bribing them with ice cream if they ate all of their food. I was out last night so my husband cooked dinner for the kids (not before sending me 10 messages asking what he should cook – no surprise, it was fish fingers and chips.)
When he got back from dropping the kids off today he asked if we could just go back to eating separate meals. He said it was too much hassle trying to get them to eat what I’d cooked. And it genuinely was hassle because of how fussy they are.
I said sure – but I’m not cooking two meals because it’s too much hassle for me. I’m happy to cook for the four of us. He’s more than welcome to make them fish fingers if they don’t want what I’m cooking. He thinks I’m an asshole because “I won’t cook for his kids” and “don’t care what food they like” but I think he’s an asshole for expecting me behave like a live-in chef. It’s not even like I want to feed his kids sophisticated meals for a refined palate. It’s chicken! And a wrap! And some lettuce!
Am I the asshole?
Tl;dr: my husband thinks I’m an asshole because I won’t cook a different meal for his fussy kids because they don’t like the food I made this weekend.”
Source: Reddit
